Goodbye 2014

Goodbye to 2014

On the design wall, current abstractions, 9-patch blocks and the garden moved indoors.

A decision to journal in grid books, new year excitements and tan fabric pulled for current abstractions.

Continued Tarot studies with a new book and an unexplored deck, Sodalite, and an accurate description of what's to come .

Cheers to the New Year and all that's in store!

Mammal Chupie

...And now back to your regularly scheduled program.

I never intended to be absent from this space so long, but somehow I knew that'd happen.

Metal miniatures for my tiny family, birthday gift from my best friend.

If you do the same action expecting different results, you are stupid. I've been stupid for years now.
I imagine I've been addicted to the act of being lost, in the mental sense. I give my time away to others instead of spending it on my own goals.

The newest studio with new roof garden and rain.

I've just been wholly unfair to myself for forever.
This has been a large revelation and a most humbling feeling, I am solely responsible.
Ouch.

Improvisational patchwork for "Ode to Summer" quilt in progress.

And then a time when you can 'see' your life clearer. Or shit suddenly makes sense. Ego bruising. Getting older.

You start to pay more attention to the things that really matter.

Crystal Alligator (collage work in progress) 

Like being an artist.

"The way to get started is to Quit talking and Begin doing." - Walt Disney

'Participation' & 2014 Goals

Last year I had some pretty nice finishes, but overall, I don't feel like I accomplished a lot sewing wise. I jotted down a list of achievables for this year and damn it, I'm going to do it!

'Flamingo Me' self-portrait quilt 04-2013

Creative Goals for 2014

• Get all UFO's finished or repurposed ( two bins worth spanning over 7 years eek!)
• Frequent Blogging + Blog rejuvenation
• Participate (actively) in online QAL/BOM's
• Regular photo uploads to Flickr
• Etsy shop up and running again
• 365 day project (successfully underway!)
• Design/sell quilting and sewing patterns 
• Develop my branding style "Mammal Chupie"
• Be published in quilting world
• Join my first "swap" online
• Write out my Artist CV
• Design/dye fabrics
• Make a stash book to document fabrics
• Teach more classes!
• Have a table during monthly Downtown Art Walk
• Have previous blog printed into a book
• Do more creative writing
• Make more books
• Restore my 69' VW Bus

It's not a huge list. But The activities on it will sure keep me busy! And seeing as it's already half way through January, it's good that I've started on some of these!

If you can't tell, my word for this year is "Participate". I find myself spending hours, days, months, years just staring into the creative abyss of the online quiliting world. I'm tired of just staring. Time to do!

Friendship Everlasting

I really can't believe that it's already October, but I'm glad. My birthday was over a month ago and I am barely putting away the pile of fabrics I purchased on the birthday trip.
I hadn't been sewing much, so the studio was slightly neglected.

I scored some nice Robert Kaufman prints on sale at my favorite fabric mecca, M & L Fabrics in Anaheim, the cows, chairs, and citrus prints. I'm still not so in the groove of paying attention to what is what when I buy fabric. I have designer prints all over in my stash and I only become aware of them when I pull them for projects. A lot of them are older designers and collections from when my grandma was building her stash, but as I become more and more obsessed with the idea of designing fabric and incorporate my love of blog surfing, I've found that I am becoming more familiar with fabric designers and collection names as well as companies. It's exciting to start memorizing the details. 

Of course I purchased all that fabric (15 yards approx.) I had not a single project in mind but rather colors that I'm lower on in my stash. (There's an addiction for ya!) Orange. It's still a mysterious one for me. I enjoy it. It's uplifting and positive, but I can't manage to find prints I like. Not to mention that I don't really use it often. So, I have something orange brewing in my mind, October is helping.

What also helped was the special visit from my BFF for the last 23 years! She drove down from the Bay area for a weekend of sewing and girl talk. When she arrive with her machine in tote, I was blown away to discover she'd never made any patchwork blocks/traditional quilts before. (Art quilts, yes!) So we set to making friendship wall hangings. 

I've had flying geese on the brain so we started with those. I tested out a method I'd found on the Connecting Threads website. The tutorial was excellent, easy to follow and makes four units at once!

We made dozens, then decided that we needed a central block. I knew of an easy one, Saw Toothed Star. She and I each made a center block, and traded. We had tons of fun mixing the Flying Geese we made into a nice boarder. Not too bad for our first time (I hadn't made Flying Geese before either).

We picked out a special egg print on black originally from my grandmas stash for the backing and decided we'd each quilt them up this week. It was an exceptional weekend! She is such a dear friend, I'm so happy she was able to sneak back down to our hometown for a sewing retreat!

It definitely helped me harness my sewing mojo again. I spent the following two days after she left cutting and sewing 64 more Flying Geese units to make a plaid version that I've been gawking over.

And after getting my friendship quilt (that we lovingly named the 'A''A' Quilt for our initials and the amount of beer consumed that weekend) basted, I decided that I'd hand quilt it, since I need some practice with that as well. 

Here we are with our projects!

To January, Love Me

My absence again has been haunting me. I had a long hard road to travel at the end of October and it continued through December, but I am happy to be past all that now. December brought about an insane opportunity as if to repay me in some respects for my battles won in the previous months.
I was offered the studio space I'd been coveting since March....and I did it! I got the space mid-December and celebrated a soft grand opening during Art Walk this past Thursday.
(Caution: Horribly dark and grainy pictures follow....think mysterious a.k.a. i have no camera again..)
 

I set up a "Design" wall and had visitors "Help me make a quilt" This was by far a great experience, though in after thought, it would have helped me a lot if I'd given them a bit more structure...See messy wall above. I must now turn that into a quilt. But first I have to get it off the design wall in one piece. Lordy.

Pheww. It's really been an intense couple of months.
And now with the new year beginning, I feel another wave of overwhelming options as to where to take life next. Some days I feel as if I have it all figured out. Some days I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm practicing the art of non-control and just rolling with it.
Last year was so intense, I actually don't even feel like going over it. I know I finished a lot of quilts, almost one a month. That I'm happy about.
I'm happy in general, don't get me wrong. I'm just still a bit exhausted.

My goals upcoming are to get the studio/classroom space up to par so that I can begin to offer classes. Which needs to happen faster than I'm thinking so that I can live comfortably and afford to purchase huge things that I am in need of....like a new camera and computer. Ugggg. And I also need to go back to clocking my personal work time. I feel so much better when I can look back over the week and see that I worked for myself at least double the time I do for others.

Winter vacation is over. I head back to work today. I have missed those little boogers. Oh stupid internal clock, stop pestering me. Like I have time for that. 'That' is on the 'Someday' shelf. I need to rock and roll this year. Great things to come. Awesomeness abound. I am truly grateful for my health and the health of my loved ones, grateful for all the opportunities I have been given. Grateful for my skills. And my brain, even though I feel like it's got ADHD sometimes, I love it dearly. Thank you brain. Thanks for teaching my heart to grow up.
It's good to say thank you, often.

Sunday Thoughts

I have thoughts today.
That's a good sign.
I was also very happy to see 2500 page views of this blog this morning.
I'm doing better, but there is always room for improvement.

Here's what I've been working on this weekend....skeleton dolls are back!

And now for a small uncommon rant, comments welcome:

*******
Today my mind is on the notion of going back to school (again), actually it's been on my mind for a few days now. Having a degree in art (cringe) would help some people (family) accept my career choice. It would also probably help launch my name/ideas better and provide a solid networking base. As much as I disagree with paying money to be "professional" (because that's what you are with a degree in hand) I'm seeing the necessity of it as I get older. Our society is too hung up on "having a degree". What to do? What to do?
Then there's the decisions of where to go to school? How do I get there? How much paperwork do I have to fill out? (worst part) How many loans will I have to take out? How my soul be owned for the next 4-6 years. Granted I did enjoy my small stent in art school but just thinking about all this is giving me a headache. The one line I'm being told from a family member that is completely pissing me off and making me want to run to the hills and never return,

"Go to school. Then you'll be able to make better money and then you'll have time for your art work."

That's pretty much the most depressing thing I've been told, and repeatedly I might add.

So on the other side of this equation, I've been pondering my little handmade business and  how pathetically I've let it slump into a nothing business. I was doing pretty good for a while. Monthly craft shows and commissioned pieces. I managed to finish a quilt a month while having the downtown studio. I still have people asking to see new stuff. But I let it fall to the wayside and quietly curled into a ball of thought. 

I needed a good break. I needed to think about what I want to do with my life. I needed to make better choices and learn harder lessons. I needed to grow up a bit more. All in all, I've had a nice little vacation from myself. But the aftermath of dropping the ball has been nagging in my mind. I have so many projects I'd like to accomplish. And here I've been glued to a chair staring into the internet like a crystal ball, admiring the talent of the world and doing nothing for myself.

Something had to change. More change.  I complain (to myself) that I lack the energy. But I've had the energy, just not mentally. I have no more excuses. That one line told to me repeatedly is like a battle cry calling me to war. I must defend what I love to do. And though it has never really mattered much to me, an income from what I love to do is important. I must be self sufficient. I need to get away from that one line and not look back. Time to re-list my goals. Time to do what makes me happy. I'm not afraid.

Sometimes, you just have to dive in.

Peaceful Weekend

I'm really happy I was able to relax and get to work on some things this weekend. I set up a little sewing corner in a friends downtown studio. I was quite enthralled in cutting up fabric and working on doll pattern tests.

I tried my hand at adding gussets to the doll pattern I had drafted years ago. It was tiny tiny work. And as much as I dislike using pins ( i stab myself too much!), this was the only way to do it. Slowest sewing I've done on the machine in such a long time.

I realized after an hour of tiny piecing that I probably should enlarge the pattern a bit and give myself a break. Duh! What's with me and teeny tiny project attempts. Especially later in the evening. Am I trying to drive myself batty or what? Needless to say, I did take a break from the doll project after successfully putting in a head gusset. And I jumped right into cutting more 5in squares because apparently I have half-square triangle patterns on the brain. 

I am really into rearranging them on my design wall. I like the fact that when I throw a bunch up there, I can move them around and around and have a different look each time I step back. Which is not helping me make any decisions mind you. But it's fun and quick! I admit, I do have some friends and relatives having babies in the near future, so technically I am doing something productive. I've been toying with the idea of making a Beginners Quilt Class as well, and these HST quilts are simple enough that I might make this the class project. Here's the latest one that I still have on the design wall.

Though I've already rearranged it twice, I'm still liking this first take. I think it may end up looking like this. A viewer says it looked "too sophisticated" to be a baby blanket and that it reminded him of old man socks. I agreed with the sock reference, but perhaps someone out there has a "sophisticated baby". Hahaha. It made me laugh. I love getting input. I've got green and orange squares cut up now for today's HST quilt project! I'm on a roll!

Also! I'm very excited to have come across another quilt-a-long with an AMAZING project! The Perv-Along, (love the name) hosted by Charlotte at Displacement Activity.

The quilt is going to be amazing!!! It reminds me of a cosmic burst. And of course, I'm kinda hooked on the solid fabric quilts. So here's what I pulled for this perv-a-long.

I feel a bit odd not having "brand name" fabrics with cool color names like "papaya" or "moss". I generally find most my fabrics at swap meets, thrift stores and yard sales. Very rarely do I buy new fabrics. I love all the new prints and collections and I'm sure I have a nice smattering of them in my stash. But I've a complete novice at being able to name the designers and such. When I do buy solids, they are just a store brand name and nothing that exciting. Oh well. I'll get there someday. Kona's solids look delicious!

 How was your weekend? Hope you make something awesome!

A Long Step

I imagine being able to document my processes more efficiently. For personal inspiration as well as global.
All I can do is try again. It's a good thing to keep trying. I can already envision what I want. This is good.
I regard my birthday as a personal New Year. It's a good point from which to start anew in whatever direction I wish.
It's been quite a while since I put my ducks in order. Here I go, trying again.
The difference this year, I am far more content than previous years. Minor alterations can and will be made, but I am largely happy.
The reoccurring theme this year, I must work harder. Smarter. By letting go of some comforting crutches I will make this step up. I feel better when I accomplish my goals. I feel enlivened and energized by creating. I am happy to be alive. I've made one more trip round the sun with many more to come.

"It takes a long time to grow young." -Pablo Picasso

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

-Abraham Lincoln

Eclipse Favorites

Eclipse Favorites, a photo mosaic by amandamillar on Flickr.

(see Flickr upload for photo credits)

It was a wonderful day everywhere.

Yeah, I'm with you.

This is my mothers day. A swapmeet trip. Good stuff. New Marushka, wool, burlap, wooden bag handles, vintage Pinocchio cloth dolls, new wig, and sweet dice earrings. Lovely weekend. And a new bed. Wonderful start to the week.

Hello again...

I know I've disappeared for a bit. Again. Have no fear, I've been plenty busy. Just returning from  Coachella, I'm wasting no time. Back to making. 

Tonight I'm drawing a skull garden on some zine pages. 

Happy making Monday!

Persistence Chases Gloom

I've been quite busy. The end of February brought about new business ventures. I opened a studio with best friend Roach in the Life Arts Building downtown. The photo above is from our opening night during March's Art Walk. There were tons of people. Even those who wanted to steal $1 items. Lesson : leave nothing at pocket height. Sad but true.

Aside from that, I've been working steadily. Odd. But it's working. I have space to work on a large white wall, (Yay! for a huge 15 ft. design wall!) a place for photographing the finished projects and display them. But really I've immersed myself in finishing things.

And starting things of course.

While painting the studio walls of all things, I get the itch to start another painting.

                     

Random yes. Highly enjoyable project to accompany my time. Yes.

And another. In all fairness, I just started this one on Saturday. Coming along nicely. I'm going to do a bit of Mola applique on this i think.

Also, as of this evening, this project from last summer is finally all pieced together. I decided on a solid white for the borders. And I admit, I did it kinda free form. By eye. The blocks aren't really all the same size. It was an experiment from start to finish. But I like the look of it, very crisp. 

I did a quick three hour work shift at the downtown studio and was able to piece the backing and get the whole think basted. Whew. 

I know. It's a lot. It FEELS like a lot. Continuously. And its an awesome feeling to close my eyes and think of all the things I've made today.

I used my first lap quilt "Worldly" on the balcony to watch the sunset at the studio and beamed with happiness in what I'd made.

Quilting = Love

I leave you with the design wall. The purples and tans will unite like wind etchings. The skull will get more English paper pieced rose stars and say something poetic. 

This is why I get up everyday.

-manda

Machine Love

This has put a permanent smile on my face.

Thank you to my dear friends for always thinking of me when they have a vintage sewing machine to find a new home for. I am super delighted.

Happy Monday!

New Year, Better Blogger.....

The start of this new year has not been as productive as I'd hoped for. I let my brain have a vacation and spent endless days dreaming of the projects I should have been working on.

Weaving Practice. "What Are You Making?" "I have no idea. Really."

It's been over a month now since I last posted here...and to think I was trying to be a better blogger three months ago. Clearly, that didn't happen. So I will try try again. Fall off horse, run after horse, jump back on horse and hold. Something like that.
It's pretty sad that I've been falling off a proverbial horse that hasn't even been in motion.

I have been working on things, new and old. It's been a good mix of chaos. I've noticed that trend in blog-landia among other quilt artists, too many starts, not enough finishes. And I came to the conclusion the other evening, that in admitting to myself that I have a problem with finishing, I could tackle it easily, better yet I wanted to tackle it. For some reason calling it out make it less scary. I love the process and am afraid that when I finish, it's over and gone. Silly, I know.

I have been compiling my usual "New Year Goal List" which I'll share here as a reminder and a source of inspiration.

• Regular & Frequent Blogging// I need to record my progress accurately as well as make better connections in the art/quilt world.
• Revamp of Process// I clearly need to work differently, like from start to finish and not have multiple projects going at once until I master this.
• Finishing of the Unfinished// My first goal of the year is to get all 14(ish) quilt projects that have been started, finished. finally.
• Better Use of Time// The more time i have, the more i slack off. That needs to change.
• Online Store Fronts// I need to treat my online shop like a brick&mortar store. My dedication to it has slacked again. Embarrassing.
• More Book Work// Though I made quite a few mini books this last year, I'd like to flesh out some of my bigger ideas (children's book), as well as a sewing/quilting book and get it pitched to the right peeps.
• First Solo Show// I've done everything but had a real Solo show of my textile art. It's about time.
• Natural Energy Development// Better eating and more exercise. I need to take care of myself better and keep the bad mood mind away. I'm afraid this includes a running routine.
• Connection// Better my connections to the things I am inspired by and love. People, places, information.
• Self Love// I need to give more of myself to myself than to others.
• Travel & Adventure// I need to see new things. Freshen up my perspectives. 
• Inspire// Nothing motivates me more than to be able to see my creativity inspire others to follow their passions.

Okay, really, this list could go on and on. But this morning, these are the points in my mind. Things I meant to share and never got around to it.

I acquired tons of new fabrics over the winter vacation, going on a chance trip to my nearest fabric mecca M & L Fabrics in Anaheim. Plus I received a Joann's gift card for Xmas from Mum and was able to score cotton batting at 50% off.

While out doing last minute Xmas shopping at a local thrift store, I came across this most awesome "Battle Star Galactica" vintage bed sheet. As soon as I saw it wadded up in a bin under a table, I knew I wanted to turn it into my first whole cloth quilt. To make it even better, when I pulled it out, it was saturated with a stomach turning stale urine aroma that took seven washes (4 being vinegar) to remove. Quite the adventure. Leave it to me to have to buy something covered in urine. But totally worth it.

I've also been slacking on my submission to The 2012 Sketchbook Project. Which must be mailed before the end of this month! Eek!

Making good progress on it though and happy to be using it as an experimental zone.

Spent a moment working on this piece as well. "Dangerous Things in Pastels" Thinking about making a series of them, snakes and guns. It warms my heart.

And I leave you today with this next image, what I wake up to, glorious sun rays highlighting the work table in the studio. And yes,  the "Worldly" quilt that I pieced about seven years ago is finally being quilted and will probably be my first 2012 finish. Fingers crossed.

Cheers to a beautiful day!
-M.